New DSM to Include Diagnosis of ‘Completely F***ing Dead Inside’

APA announced the 2021 edition of the Diagnostic and Statistic Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-6) will include a new diagnostic category — Completely Fucking Dead Inside (CFDI).

Mental health providers from around the country have reported an alarming increase in the last year of people who report symptoms similar but not identical to anxiety or depressive disorders.

“It’s not situational depression my patients are describing,” said mental health practitioner, Dr. Anne Taylor. “It’s more like, well… nothing; like there is giant empty void where the soul should be.”

“I’m not depressed, I’ve been depressed before,” reported a 42-year-old male client. “It’s more that nothing matters and every day is the same journey through a bog of meaninglessness. Like, think of that scene in The Never Ending Story where Atreyu’s horse gets stuck and won’t move; I’m the horse. Does that make sense?”

It’s not just the people suffering from CFDI who are being affected; their families also are struggling with how to be supportive.

“I love Katie obviously; we've lived together for 5 years,” said her partner Angela. “But, she is just different, like the life has been drained out of her and been replaced with an unshakable indifference. Last night I asked her what she wanted for dinner which used to get her excited, and she said, ‘eating is for humans with hope for a future and I only exist in the endless holding pattern that is our present.’ So, what, Thai then? I mean, what am I supposed to do with that?”

Diagnosing a patient with CFDI has been straightforward as mental health diagnosis goes; the challenge has been developing efficacious treatments.

“We thought an effective intervention would be strategically re-introducing established passions for things like music, exercise, food, or family,” said Dr. Allen Yates, head of Psychiatry at the Boston College of Medicine. “But, none of those things seem to matter to CFDI patients. In one extreme case, we arranged for a patient at our clinic to zoom with her favorite cast member from Real Housewives: Atlanta and her response was, ‘That bitch is old news — hard pass.’”

Dr. Yates said it is important to identify the signs of CFDI and pay close attention to the duration and intensity of symptoms. “If a loved one says things unprompted like, ‘My mind is an empty whiteboard on which nothing can be written,’ or Wanda Vision was whatever,’ then they may be suffering from CFDI. Symptoms will likely pass when the pandemic is over. Until then, I recommend positively reinforcing behaviors like working and basic hygiene.”

..right?